OH GOD SCROLL DOWN IT'S ANOTHER ENTRY WHERE EMILEE RANTS ABOUT SHIT THAT NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT
I mean it
no really
why are you still looking
I PROMISE IT'S VERY BORING
well okay
don't say i didn't warn you
...here goes
Every time I see a trailer for a Clint Eastwood movie, I . . . really wish I liked Clint Eastwood movies. I feel like I should! Everyone else in the world does, apparently! But every time I watch his movies, I just feel nothing. And by "nothing" I guess what I really mean is "bored." His movies bore me! They are
dry and
dull and I feel nothing when I watch them, except for the feeling of wishing I was watching something else! Does that count?
The Bridges of Madison County was boring!
Blood Work was boring!
Mystic River was so boring I wanted to gouge out my own eyes!
Gran Turino was... all right, I guess, although I don't quite remember anything that happened in it. And then there is
Million Dollar Baby. Oh,
Million Dollar Baby. I have never wanted to ask for my money back after a movie so badly as after having seen that. Even
thinking about that movie makes me want to punch kittens. IT'S A GOOD THING THERE ARE NO KITTENS IN THE ROOM BECAUSE I AM THINKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW--!
Don't get me wrong, I love pretentious things! And I also love loving things that allow me to feel superior to other people! BUT I GUESS I DON'T GET CLINT EASTWOOD? I mean he seems like a really cool guy and all. And he's pretty damn good-looking, even as an old dude. He just happens to make what, to me, appear to be the world's most boring movies.
Although, to be fair, I do like
Unforgiven and
The Outlaw Josey Wales. And
Pale Rider was pretty good. And he's a really, really,
really amazing actor! Maybe I just... only like him as a cowboy? GO BACK TO PLAYING A COWBOY, MR. EASTWOOD :( I NEVER GET TIRED OF THAT
... Holy crap, that got long. NOTHING GETS ME GOING LIKE THINGS THAT VAGUELY ANNOY ME!
OH GOD, BUT SPEAKING OF PRETENTIOUS THINGS I
DO REALLY WANT TO SEE! The fact that there is a Wes Anderson film
and a Coen Brothers film in theaters
at the same time and I haven't seen either of them is causing me ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN IN MY HEART, you guys. Except I'm broke as hell and also kind of hate movie theaters lately. There are too many people! And I have trouble focusing on only one thing at a time! It makes me antsy! And the only place
A Serious Man playing is all the way the hell downtown! And there will be
children at
The Fantastic Mr. Fox. CHILDREN!!! Why are there always
children at kids' movies? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT, HUH?!
... Oh god
The Princess and the Frog is out Friday. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CONTINUE AVOIDING MOVIE THEATERS
NOW?! :'(
so many childrennnnnnn lskdfjghsg